...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
