haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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