she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
