im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
