Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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