We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
