So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
