Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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