He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
