He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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