Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
