This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
