we're blogging at a bar
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
