I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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