we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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