So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
