ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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