I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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