She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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