her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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