he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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