none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
