we have officially lost it.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
should my penis look like a turkey
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So vagazzling was a success
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
