sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
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