he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize