smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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