I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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