I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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