"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
