A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
