That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This is the high leading the old right now
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
