I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize