You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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