I'm going to jail i love you
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Your penis caused this!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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