Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
