also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
