dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
sarcasm needs its own font
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
