Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
