Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
