I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
