I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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