I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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