i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
