this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
