I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
