i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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