OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
