We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
