Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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