gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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