i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
