4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
