I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just invented taco cereal.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
