I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
