He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
