Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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