You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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