i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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