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You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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