do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
