i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think people are normalizing furries
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize